My Emotional History
with Zombie Movies
Autumn (Halloween) 2019
Do you ever watch zombie movies? Do you ever find yourself getting irritated by the people in the zombie movies when they act like they’ve never seen a zombie movie before? It takes them forever to figure out the rules. Like: you have to shoot, stab or otherwise destroy the brain to kill/stop the zombies. If you shoot, stab or harm ANY other part of the body . . . they just keep coming. You can decapitate a zombie and the decapitated head can still bite you and kill/turn you into a zombie. It takes them forever to figure out that there is no reasoning with the zombies, they don’t care what you have to say or offer, they just want to bite, claw and eat your flesh! Not to mention that there is always someone who refuses to believe that, no matter how much they love someone, if they have been bitten by a zombie, sooner or later they WILL turn into a zombie! It takes them forever to figure out these rules. Every time. I mean c’mon already . . . get a clue! I can understand if it’s an early zombie movie like 1968’s Night Of The Living Dead, but if the movie takes place in present day, we’re really supposed to believe the people in the movie have never seen a zombie movie, TV show, comic book/graphic novel or even HEARD of zombies??? I don’t think so!
I wasn’t always this jaded. Zombie movies used to REALLY scare the crap out of me. I think Dennis Hopper summed up how I used to feel about zombie movies in The Land Of The Dead when he said “zombies man, they really freak me out!” I was about four years old the first time I saw a zombie movie. Friends of my parents we were visiting and were watching the original Night Of The Living Dead on TV and the scene where zombies are bursting through windows, doors, and walls scared me immensely. Nothing stopped them! FREAKED ME OUT MAN! Freaked me out. Several years later, I tried to watch another zombie movie. There was NO way to stop them! This movie didn’t even allow people to stop zombies by destroying the brain! It ended with the three survivors finding refuge from the zombies in an attic, coming across a phone number for a government agency to call in case of zombie crisis. They called it, the person on the other end of the phone took their information and location and told them help was on the way. The survivors thought they were saved, the government agency sent nuclear missiles to destroy the infested town, completely disintegrating the zombies, the town, and the human survivors as well! FREAKED ME OUT!!! Once I learned there actually was a way to stop/kill zombies, I felt MUCH better and am able to enjoy zombie movies, TV shows, books, comic books, graphic novels, video games and more.
Do you ever think to yourself what it would be like to live in a world where zombies are real? The true horror that existence would be? Society is gone, it’s a daily struggle to survive. You have to try to find food and shelter, avoid radioactive and toxic waste. You have to avoid being attacked by uninfected humans who have chosen to be evil, violent, cruel, murderous and worse, not to mention the FLESH EATING ZOMBIES! Do you ever think about the living nightmare that would be? Then do you ever think: at least I wouldn’t have to worry about being summoned to report for jury duty anymore?
Jimmy Francis is an actor/comedian/impressionist/writer/musician/songwriter/poet and amateur historian. His head is full of worthless information. He wrote, produced, and directed a short film for MTV’s AIDS Awareness Project. He made a graphic novel, Hyperdork: Years And Years Of Trauma, based on his stand-up comedy act (available on Amazon) which has received positive reviews from Fanboy Comics and Slurred Nerd. He won a stand-up competition at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, California, and a best actor award from the Inland Theatre League for playing Billy Bibbit in the play “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.”